I’m beginning to realise that one of my biggest challenges is believing God loves me, no matter what.
I like to keep things real, so it’s pertinent of me to be open about my own personal doubts and anxieties; ones I experience on a regular basis. The past couple of months have been especially painful in terms of doubts, worries, and fears. So tortuous at times that I’ve gone to bed extra early in order to avoid being weighed down by negative thoughts. And the greater the fears and doubts, the more angry I was with God. But whilst running a few days ago, the Lord asked me the following question;
“Do you know why you’re so stressed and worried right now?”
“No idea, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me,” I replied, still a little upset with him.
“It is because you don’t really believe I love you. You have a sense of it, but the moment things aren’t going well, you start to doubt and wonder whether I’m holding back or punishing you for something. As soon as those thoughts emerge, you not only question my love for you, but also search for reasons why I may not.”
I couldn’t argue. He’s spot-on.
Do you experience similar doubts when things don’t seem to be going well? When you’ve prayed over-and-over again but seem to be getting no results? So much so you begin to wonder whether the God you’re praying to has even an ounce of love and mercy in him?!
You’re not alone.
This message is for those of us that regularly experience moments of doubt about God’s love.
Whilst spending some time in worship this morning, the Holy Spirit asked me to stop singing and just lie still and listen.
What he revealed to me was most heart-warming.
“Whilst you’re asleep at night, I’m sitting beside you, and at the foot of your bed is an angel watching over you. At the entrance of your front door is an angel guarding your house. And there are four angels guarding the perimeter of your building. You are in Christ, and He is in you, so wherever He is, so are my angels, protecting and watching over you.”
As I pictured the magnitude of such protection, I realised that the key to believing God’s unconditional love for me, lies in shifting the focus from me to Jesus. God loves you and I not because of anything we can do but because of who Jesus is and what he has already done for us.
When we put the onus on ourselves, we are prey to doubts and anxieties.
Because we usually respond to what our eyes see and how we feel.
Our eyes never fail to tell us the gravity or impossibility of our situation. Rather than believe God’s love and plan for our lives, we focus on circumstance and the obstacles /problems in front of us. As such, whenever God reveals something to us, ‘but’ is usually the first word to surface.
When informed by the angel Gabriel that she would give birth to a child who would become the King of kings, rather than rejoice in the honour of being the mother of God’s son, all Mary could see was her present circumstance.
“You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be very great and will be called the son of the most high. The Lord God will give him the throne of his ancestor David. And he will reign over Israel forever; his kingdom will never end.”
Mary asked the angel, “But how can this happen. I am a virgin.”
Luke 1 vs 31 – 34
Has the Lord recently placed something in your heart which you believe is nigh-on impossible?
If so, rather than focus on why it can’t possibly happen as a result of past mistakes or present circumstance, fix your heart and mind on who God is – the one who knows the beginning from the end.
Life can be an arduous journey, at times with seemingly more downs than ups. But maybe the reason for so many downs is because they are the periods / moments that prepare us for the ups that are to come.
It isn’t easy. Trust me, I know. But just as my close friends and family have helped me during these challenging few months, lean on those close to you in order to see past your circumstance and problems. That is what the body of Christ is all about; helping one another in times of need. God meets us at our place of need, and he usually does so through those amazingly special people he’s placed in our lives.
Finally, two very important points for us all to remember when going through the mire.
1. Whenever we doubt God’s loves for us, we’d do well to remember the following verse.
‘He who did not spare his own son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?’
Romans 8 vs 32
I find this verse particularly helpful. For the fact that God did not spare his only son from rejection, ridicule, torture and death, because of his desire for you and I to be saved, healed, blessed, and highly favoured, means that his fervent love for us literally knows no bounds.
2. When God makes a promise to you, be rest assured that no matter what you see in front of you or how you feel, it shall come to pass.
‘For no word from God will ever fail.’
Luke 1 vs 37