Writing this feels a little eerie to say the least. In order to better explain why, it’s best to go back a few days – to Saturday, 3rd June to be precise.
My most excellent friend Babs and I were discussing the way in which Real Madrid’s midfield completely dominated that of Juve in the second half of last week’s Champions League Final, when news came in that terrorists had caused mayhem in the London Bridge area. Being someone that’s passionately pro-British, another sorry tale of terrorism in the heart of the United Kingdom – the third one this year – was the last thing I wanted to hear.
But before going any further permit me to describe a somewhat peculiar characteristic of mine. My usual reaction to such bad news is one of denial – that it took place at all, or simply that such attacks are occurring all over the world on a daily basis, so one shouldn’t get overemotional. As such I stay clear of reading or watching any news regarding whatever atrocity took place. This usually lasts about two/ three days, until I eventually start reading about the events that occurred and the cruel fate of innocent victims.
But for some reason this particular incident seems to be having a particularly negative effect on me.
Fast forward to today – I’m off to Port Harcourt this morning. But as soon as my eyes opened at 4.15am the very first thought on my mind was ‘what if today’s my final day? I should send Jide a formal email to let him know that if anything happens to me, such and such should go to my little girl’. And so the thoughts continued – on and on and on and on.
To make matters worse the first song I heard on the radio after getting into my Uber was an Aliya song – remember her? Yep. Died in a plane crash. I kept asking God what was wrong with me, and he kept giving me the same answer – “There’s nothing wrong with you. You just need to reconnect with the surety of my love for you”. But, as I’m sure you know, easier said than done in those moments of melancholy, right?!
Fast forward to the airport.
There I am patiently if not rather pensively standing in the check-in queue, when the gentleman in front of me turns around and tells me how he’d had no idea what time his flight was; but that he had a dream he missed a 7am flight to Port Harcourt, and as soon as his eyes opened he realised God was telling him to get to the airport asap. Hence, he quickly got himself ready and headed to the airport; and when he arrived he found out his flight was indeed the 7am flight to Port Harcourt. I was suitably impressed with his testimony of God’s amazing ways, but not enough to be deterred from my somewhat morose thoughts. In truth, I now wanted him to leave me in peace. But this gentleman didn’t stop there. He proceeded to say to me;
“You know, no matter what you’re worried about, all that matters is that God loves you. He’s always on your side, and always doing what’s best for you.”
Now he had my full and undivided attention. This now wonderful gentleman proceeded to explain some of the connotations of Jesus on the cross to me. I quote;
“Everything that Jesus did whilst he was here on earth, and on that cross, was for you. Stop worrying about your iniquities and your past wrongs. Stop worrying about whether or not you deserve God’s Favour and Love. The fact is you don’t. But through Jesus you do; and you have it in abundance. Remember – God chose you, not the other way around. He chose you before you were born.”
As I listened to him I kept asking God, “what are you trying to say tell me Lord”. He kept replying, “Stop worrying. All that matters is my love for you. The reason you’re all pent-up with anxiety and worry is because your thoughts are not rooted in my Love for you.”
To say I was disappointed when separated from him by the splitting-up of the queue is a gross understatement.
At the beginning of this week the Holy Spirit asked me to write an article about ‘Keeping Up With The Joneses’. I wrote most of it yesterday. But it just didn’t feel right. Now I understand why. It was supposed to be related to why we should never feel the need to do so, as against why we do.
You see, many of us equate our blessings, failures, troubles, sorrows, mistakes, etc to the extent of our ‘righteous’ living. In other words, it’s all about how well we’re performing. In-fact some even go as far as to pretend to be this or that because they believe it is what’s expected. But this is neither what matters, nor what God is interested in.
The most important truth you and I need to hold onto is this – God Loves Us Unconditionally.
No matter what’s going on in your life, remember that he is Always on your side.
Even whilst you were dead in your transgressions, your heavenly father’s love for you never waned.
Your past is your past. Leave it there.
If you’re wondering whether or not you deserve a new start, the truth is you probably don’t. But through Jesus you are assured of it.
There’s no need to keep up appearances because your heavenly father prepared your specific path long before you were even born. He knew you’d be where you are today before you were formed in your mother’s womb. His desire for you has, and will always be one of great hope and a bright future.
He’s fully on your side.
Let go, and allow Him to lead you to be the person He created you to be.